Thursday, September 09, 2004
Rock & Roll's 10 least wanted men
Riverfront Times has a hilarious list of the ten most hated men in rock n' roll. Before going any further, RFT lays down the criteria for "hating" a rock star.
Have talent, use it well for a substantial period of time, then intentionally squander it for commercial riches, fame and/or forced mass appeal.
So, the initial talent is key here. RFT also clarifies that they hate Sting so much he doesnt even make it to the top 10.
This turtleneck-sweatered Jaguar shill has so desecrated his Policeman legacy that we're not entirely convinced the current soft-rock incarnation isn't the original Sting's evil twin. He is, without question, the most hated man in rock.
Once you're done with Sting, the top 10 are, in order -- Paul McCartney, Carlos Santana, Jimmy Buffett, The Adams Family (Ryan & Bryan), Elton John, Conor Oberst & Chris Carrabba, Fred Durst and Bob Weir. Here's a little taste of their hatred of McCartney and Bobby Weir.
Barely qualified to carry John Lennon's roach clip while both toiled with a grotesquely overrated boy band known as the Beatles, Sir Paul's true colors have reverberated loudly and horribly since Mark David Chapman put a tragic slug in Yoko's hubby. "Band on the Run" could have been written by a third grader, and McCartney's duets with alleged pedophile Michael Jackson -- and the ensuing public pissing match over Wacko Jacko's savvy purchase of the Beatles' catalogue -- cemented McCartney's legacy of poor taste and idiocy. We can only hope Satan delivers the goods to Sir Paul in Hell, where knighthoods carry no currency.
"Rock Star Bobby" is the worst of the bunch, a bona fide gravy trainer who would've probably invited frequent guest Huey Lewis to join the band as a full-time harmonica player had Garcia not understandably kept his pink Izod-wearing ass in check. Weir's side project, Rat Dog, is basically a below-average bar band with a frontman who needs a teleprompter to remember his own lyrics. But frankly, given our unyielding love for all things Garcia, we were willing to forgive and forget until Weir & Co. jumped on a stage in a movie-studio lot to appear on Leno recently. With Garcia on the injured list (for good), Weir stepped in to sing lead vocals on "Touch of Grey." Horribly. Why he didn't just defecate on Jerry's headstone instead, we'll never know.
This is inspirational stuff. A must-read. Will someone also tell me why Dave Gilmour doesnt make it to the top 20? Are Pink Foyd that inconsequential or is it that they hate Waters even more?
Have talent, use it well for a substantial period of time, then intentionally squander it for commercial riches, fame and/or forced mass appeal.
So, the initial talent is key here. RFT also clarifies that they hate Sting so much he doesnt even make it to the top 10.
This turtleneck-sweatered Jaguar shill has so desecrated his Policeman legacy that we're not entirely convinced the current soft-rock incarnation isn't the original Sting's evil twin. He is, without question, the most hated man in rock.
Once you're done with Sting, the top 10 are, in order -- Paul McCartney, Carlos Santana, Jimmy Buffett, The Adams Family (Ryan & Bryan), Elton John, Conor Oberst & Chris Carrabba, Fred Durst and Bob Weir. Here's a little taste of their hatred of McCartney and Bobby Weir.
Barely qualified to carry John Lennon's roach clip while both toiled with a grotesquely overrated boy band known as the Beatles, Sir Paul's true colors have reverberated loudly and horribly since Mark David Chapman put a tragic slug in Yoko's hubby. "Band on the Run" could have been written by a third grader, and McCartney's duets with alleged pedophile Michael Jackson -- and the ensuing public pissing match over Wacko Jacko's savvy purchase of the Beatles' catalogue -- cemented McCartney's legacy of poor taste and idiocy. We can only hope Satan delivers the goods to Sir Paul in Hell, where knighthoods carry no currency.
"Rock Star Bobby" is the worst of the bunch, a bona fide gravy trainer who would've probably invited frequent guest Huey Lewis to join the band as a full-time harmonica player had Garcia not understandably kept his pink Izod-wearing ass in check. Weir's side project, Rat Dog, is basically a below-average bar band with a frontman who needs a teleprompter to remember his own lyrics. But frankly, given our unyielding love for all things Garcia, we were willing to forgive and forget until Weir & Co. jumped on a stage in a movie-studio lot to appear on Leno recently. With Garcia on the injured list (for good), Weir stepped in to sing lead vocals on "Touch of Grey." Horribly. Why he didn't just defecate on Jerry's headstone instead, we'll never know.
This is inspirational stuff. A must-read. Will someone also tell me why Dave Gilmour doesnt make it to the top 20? Are Pink Foyd that inconsequential or is it that they hate Waters even more?
